About Me

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"i'm a bitch, i'm a mother, i'm a child, i'm a lover. i'm a sinner, but not a saint ... I've been where nobody else have dared. I am what no one dreamt of being.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Tango of Music and Love

Mariah Carey, TLC, Ella Mae Sayson, Martin Nieverra and Kyla are just few who have been a part of my life. Not that I am friends with them (though I wish I am), their music are.

They were there when I was down the slope of love. They cheered me when I was high with the magic of it. They shed light to my doubts when I got trapped in the web of cupid’s spell. They stood by me when I thought love has lost its place in Webster. And just like what Bonnie Tyler famously said in her Billboard hit “Love songs won’t leave you, as lovers often do.”

Love and music is like Romeo and Juliet, or Anthony and Cleopatra, or Jennifer Lopez and Ben Afflect (before the break-up). Where goes love, so does music. Any milestone in a relationship is depicted perfectly in the tune currently playing on the radio. Every reason of happiness, anger, hurt or sadness is alleviated or heightened by a song. And when sung, the performer seems to convey all the emotions you have in your heart (though we sometimes wish their facial expressions would give justice to the song as well).

Music is lyrical poetry. While words help us paint the fantasy we all want to live in, music softly carries us there. And love – love is the fire that keeps us burning with faith that in the end, it (love) would conquer all.

While a song can be played all day and all night, it would mean nothing without anybody relating to it. And love (or hate) is just a feeling if there are no songs to help us get past through dreaming of love, falling for it, living in it, dying for it, and resurrected for it.

It just goes to show that one cannot survive without the other. And people cannot be in love without loving music. And succumbing to the power of love cannot happen without any melody to blow the wind.

Love and music is therefore everywhere. They’re there when a person comes to our lives and turns our fantasy to reality. They share our sleepless nights when sweet turned to sour and they stay until the storm quiets down. Then goes the cycle again.

“Here, there and everywhere..,” so The Beatles say. And we too shall remain.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Rendezvous With An Old Love

I have almost forgotten how it was to be engulfed in a sudden rush of excitement. I have realized I almost allowed myself to forget the sleepless nights just thinking of how the day crazily went by. And I almost fooled myself, and maybe everyone, that I've became numb and deaf to the call of my first love. And I never expected myself, in such a long time, to set foot to that place that used to be my world.

The new face of Araneta Coliseum hasn't made as much impact as it gave me one hot October afternoon. I was to set foot to an old home. I was to say hello once again to the people I have spent so much good time with. And I was to see the game that has etched a great deal of memories in my life - basketball.

I, as a young kid, about 6 years old and a girl at that, used to be glued in the television with literally my whole clan, 3 times a week watching basketball. And since time immemorial, I have never supported any team other than Ginebra. They may have gone thru several name changing,  Ginebra or Gilbey's or Gordon Gins, they will always be Ginebra.

I used to think my fascination and support to the team was because my fave player of all time, Magic Man Dondon Ampalayo, was part of the team. But after he had a semi-hiatus and came back donning a new uniform, being Alaska, my heart was still with the Gins. Then I thought maybe it's because of Jaworksi. He, as everybody believes, is the heart and soul of Ginebra, if not the PBA itself. But Jawo retired from playing, became a senator but lo and behold, I am still on the Gin Kings' side.

I grew up looking at the faces of Jaworski, Dondon, the Loyzaga Brothers, Mamaril, Rudy Distrito, Leo Isaac among other Ginebra players. Then came new blood for my team in the name of Jayvee Gayoso, Marlou Aquino (now with SLR), Bal David (retired they say and has migrated in the States), Noli Locsin, Vince Hizon (where's he?). Also in the team was the low profile but ever dependable players as Benny Cheng, Pido Jarencio (retired?), Wilmer Ong. Several imports hold a special place in my heart for being such a wonderful help to my team - Michael Hacket, Billy Ray Bates, Chris King, Joe Ward.

2 years back, I somehow lost the interest. I felt there are other shows that could take my time other than PBA, and other games that I can enjoy doing like volleyball and badminton. I lost track of the new names in the league (though from time to time, I hear several names from my siblings who are still so much into it). My Ginebra wasn't the old Ginebra I fell in love with. It was the same feeling I had when Dondon officialy hanged his jersey up.

Until that sunday afternoon when my sister was able to drag me into seeing a game with my kid. I thought to myself "What the heck!". And so as I enter Araneta once again, savoring my every step on the stairs, seeing other people going from one gate to another looking for a good spot, entering the main door and seeing once again the arena where my idols have played, an old feeling creeped in my veins and started to fill me up.

I am here again. Loving being there. Enjoying every tick of the clock. Screaming to my heart's content until my voice became so hoarse. And looking around, for one minute, I kept quiet and just let myself drown in the deafening chants of the crowd saying "Ginebra! Ginebra! Ginebra".

As a closing note, I have established such a higher respect and faith to Erik Menk. He's one helluva player.

Monday, October 17, 2005

as the writing goes on ...

Writing has been, and will always be, my passion. Be it may for a life-long dream of commercial release  (re: hoping to be recognized and be published) or just a diary-like piece, I have always put so much of my heart in my writing that I hope people would feel the emotions that I have as my fingers caress my keyboard. I wish "my readers" would be in the same dimension I was in, as I allow my hands to type words popping in my mind.

Though I admit that I am not as eloquent as other writers (or bloggers) are, I make up for this "deficiency" by making my writing as vivid and imaginable as I can. I try to level up with what I presume to be  my intended readers' experience and interest. I write what I feel. What I write, I am.

I try to come up with a funny tale but I always end up on a serious note. I try to passionately write about someone I adore so much (as of this weiting, it would be MiG Ayesa and Clay Aiken) but they almost always go to my draft list. This happens when I feel I am not making any justice in revealing the depth of my appreciation.

As it is for others, blogging (or writing .. dang! they seem to be appearing along side each other too often!) is my way of releasing anger, pain, happiness, triumph, boredom, love, anticipation. Yeah, mostly about anything. They are mostly my private thoughts which I want to share (then makes them not private anymore, right?). What I haven't tried, but so anxious of doing, is to write about my fantasies - date, lines, movie scene, sex position, place to have sex, have sex with ... argh! Where did that come from?

Honestly speaking, I haven't ventured out to speaking anything about sex. My stories on sex are safely tucked in the deepest part of my brain. But I tell you, they are much eager to be unleashed as that lion that attacked Roy! But I am getting there *smirk.

This post is more of raving (and ranting on the side) of what I love doing and miss of doing more - writing.

I just hope many would be able to visit my blog and know me thru my writing.

Song of Longing

How can I cry when I should smile?
How can I ask for a hand when nobody's insight?
One can only think how hard it could be
to put up a front, and just let it be.

I wonder how, in cold lonely nights
can I last till dawn and still manage to laugh.

I often think how, in warm summer days
can I stand the longing of being away
from the one I treasure, I adore?

How then can I muster words of hope
when even my heart feels the fading faith?

Will tomorrow be better?
Will my faith bid it's adiue?
Or will my beaten heart clings for its last breath
and fight to start anew?

I wonder then, when the sun'll shine bright.
When even the moon'll shed me some light.
My heart longs for the warm nights
When I can lay my sleepy head by your side.

Monday, September 05, 2005

If I Knew Heaven

If I knew heaven I knew you must have come from there.
For you laughter is like a smooth wave of air
sending my thoughts in a land far away.

You are my sweet little angel
who blossoms so quick yet so lovely.
You are my guiding star
whose light never falter, always in sight.
And God has given you a beautiful name
Mary Julliane, my own flesh.

If I knew heaven, I knew you are an angel.
For your existence defined what I would become

Each waking day, each passing moment
it seems that your charm never cease
to draw a smile in my lips
and give life to my breath.

If I knew heaven I knew you are God's creation
sent here on earth
to guide me thru life's struggles,
to lift me in my every fall,
to bring smile when my eyes show sadness,
to know Jesus' love is in abundance.

The touch of your soft, litle hands
brings youth and life in me.
I dwell in bliss as you sing a song
no better than anybody.
I always long for your soothing voice,
and your sweet, tender kisses.
I knew how it feels to be in heaven
when God blessed me with thee.

So Into MiG

I have a confession to make. I'd be thirty next year (shucks!) and a mother to a three-year old baby girl. I have thought that I've gone past the stage of going gaga over some celebrity. But lo and behold, I am at it again. I go crazy and helpless at the same time. And who is this beautiful stranger?

It's MiG Ayesa!

I have been struck by MiG-flu since day one of Rockstar InXs. And though I may not be able to brag the length of time that I've been addicted to MiG, I can probably be welcomed by other MiGsters as someone who holds him so dear in my heart.

I have compilations of MiG's performances in the contest, in video and audio format, have his face as my fone's wallpaper, even have his version "Baby I love Your Way" version as my ringtone. Am I an addict or what??!!

Plus, I admit that my guilty pleasure for months now is to surf the net for any news (old and new), blog posts, message board entries and pictures about him.

I would be soooo surprised to know anybody who haven't heard of him, or read about him! That'd be crazier :D. Anyhow, I'd be kind enough to give the links below for everyone to read more of this gorgeous (gees, those eyes could melt me) and truly-talented artist.

Rockstar InXs: MiG Profile
Mig Central
Mig Ayesa's Official Site
Team MiG

So, I am back to my teenage days, yes. The 13-yr old in me has taken over, when it comes to MiG, that is.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

An Ode to My Old Friends

Last night on my way home, as Mother Nature showers her roots, faces of my friends back in highschool and college came to my mind. Right then our "history" again unfolded so fast that I felt dizzy for a while.

I am writing this piece as my homage to my closest girl friends whom, in their own little way, adds up to what I am today and where I am now. We may have parted ways but I know in our hearts, our friendship's flame still has its glow.

My highschool life, as Sharon Cuneta puts it in her song "how exciting kay saya!"

Rhea - The statuesque beauty, with an appealing smile. I heard you are in Dubai with your family. I always remember how you always give us warm accomodation in your home, especially during that "cinematic" scene involving me, our friend's ex, Amor and Bruce.

Laila - our math wizard. For me, your ample cheeks, bedimpled smile and beautiful eyes always make us look like "alalay" coz you're like a Mexican. Pero pag nagsalita ka na, lumalabas ang pagiging jologs .. which never cease to brighten our days.

Jocelyn - ang aming drama princess! .. I can still remember how Viv's always tease you about your lovelife and Ali. Sa bandang huli, kayo pa rin ang nagkatuluyan. I miss your kwento.

Vivian - the comedian, pero cute! Kung lumabas siguro si Ethel Booba nung time natin, pwede mo syang panisin sa pagiging kikay at prangka! Your laughter can always bring the house down!

Jack - our rocker, the fashionista! I love the way you wear your clothes, be it our school uniform or your old faded jeans. You've always been a fighter - of love, of friends, of family. Nice to see you in Friendster.

Then we all graduated. Muntik pa ngang hindi tayo maka-akyat ng stage because of that incident involving our male friends. Pero dahil sa inyo, the word "friendship" has its different meaning.

Tapos, college na. I was in a group called "Teenhearts". Baduy no? Pero hindi nung time namin. We're group of six females, and our codes were thirTEEN - nineTEEN, thus came the name. We used to sing on school programs. One male friend of ours, Emerson, calls us "Fixing A Broken Heart" girls, for it seem to be our national anthem back then. What made us six click is our love for love! I can vividly remember that during our 2nd to 4th year in college, we used to have our private afternoon sessions when we drown ourselves with Cali and cried a lot over the love of our lives. Funny, that as we progress with our studies, some of us successfully "graduated" from being head-over-heels with our boy toy.

Unsurprisingly, what I recall is that when we finished college, there were only two of us who still keep our hearts open to the same person we have loved since time immemorial. That was me and Medy. I knew though, that even if at that time some of us have learned to move on, their love for that person is still there.

Let me roll the names then ...

Herlyn - We call her Mommy-Hon. And her boyfriend Daddy-Hon. She's been our "mom" in school, with her soothing voice and calm demeanor.

Riza - our gorgeous mother superiora. She's our "manang". Not that she looks like one but because she always pray. If the prayers were for J or for our exams, only she could tell.

Anne - our sexy, chinky-eyed Ate. Next to Herlyn, she's our disciplinarian. We have been an extended family for her since we also spend many afternoons in their house. And her family had always been so gracious and accomodating. Right now, pareho na tayong mommy .. pareho pa pangalan ng baby natin!

Dalia - our fragile baby doll. She may not be the youngest pero we treat her as such. Sobra ding ma-inlove. Pang MMK ang buhay. Pero Dalz, saan ka man dinala ng tadhana mo (at sana mabasa mo to), miss na miss ka na namin! Next din to ke Riza sa pagiging madasalin. Sobrang bait!

Thet - ang aming bunso. Sa edad, si Thet ang bunso. Yung bahay nila sa Luzon, parang bahay na rin namin. Sobrang kikay pero mahiyain. Napaka-pasensyosa.

Gusto ko lang isama sa listahan si Kuya Ed. Kuya, nakaka-miss tumambay sa boarding house nyo. Sino na ba nakatuluyan mo? Nami-miss na rin kita. Kung alam ko lang na yun ang ang huling sem na i-stay mo sa EA, sana mas nag-spend pa kami na time with you.

Tapos na ang high school, tapos na rin sa college .. Yung iba nakapagtapos, nagta-trabaho. Yung iba, masaya na sa pagiging housewife. Pero ano mang buhay ang tinatahak namin, isa lang ang gusto kong sabihin "HINDING-HINDI KO KAYO MAKAKALIMUTAN."

Pero hindi pa to and ending .. me isa pa kong hindi nababanggit - si Grace.

Grace is the person anybody would want to be their bestfriend. Kahit napakalayo namin sa isa't-isa at madalang kaming mag-usap, sa puso ko, sya pa rin ang bestfriend ko. At kahit na ilang taon pa kaming hindi magkita, once nagtagpo ang aming landas, nandun pa rin ang pagiging magkaibigan namin. Marami na tayong pinagdaanan Gara. Alam ko, hanggang ngayon, sinusubok pa tayo ng panahon, lalo ka na. Pero you've been a survivor. KAYA MO YAN!

Minsan, magkikita ulit tayo. Magkakakwentuhan ng matagal. Sasariwain natin ang highschool, ang buhay pagkatapos nun, at ang buhay natin ngayon.

Sa inyong lahat na nabanggit ko, sana mabasa nyo to. At kung hindi man, sana dalhin ng hangin at makarating sa inyo.

Friday, May 06, 2005

The sun is warm, the grass is green ...

I was able to watch again the movie "The Next Karate Kid", featuring of course my fave Jap Mr. Miyagi, along with Hilary Swank (love her more in Boy's Don't Cry).

And there came the line "The sun is warm, the grass is green", which evidently is the title to this entry.

In situations like the one we are in right now - when cramming is such the word of the day, when schedule's all fuzzed out and became "indefinite", when pressure is the last feeling you swear you wouldn't want to have, and when you intently wish your family is here to cheer you up, Mr. Miyagi's line is the sweetest thought one could rely on to.

Breath in, breath out, much like saying the infamous line (again from Mr. Miyagi) "wax in, wax out". When said calmly (try, though could very hard I tell you!), everything seems to fall into its proper prospective. Your heart would beat normally, your aching back seems to be a bit better and you cannot stop your self from wearing a smile, with the hope that everything could be just fine.

And it does, indeed.

Monday, May 02, 2005

"Will You Marry Me?" (or Should I Marry You?")

It's not yet the marrying month (re:June) but allow me to create this entry, as my two-cents worth to those thinking of popping the question, to those hoping to be popped the question with, to those wishing the man to pop this question may arrive, and to those who simply get their selves contented with the "will you marry me" scenes in movies.

I am married, if you will ask, and a mom. And I tell you, being asked THE question is not how they usually put it in movies. But I guess the manner it is done does not matter more than thinking where this leads, or is it the right time, or is the person you're with is really the one.

Yeap, you thought right. Getting married can be one tough mystery to unravel. Very tricky actually. And confusing to say the least.

But what do we gain from getting married anyways? Besides the fact that you'll have to wake up each day of your remainining days seeing the same face (that's if you remain faithful), what's there to look forward to?

Last night, we watch "Shall We Dance" on DVD. And Bev (Susan Sarandon) answered her own question ".. what makes a person want to get settled?". She said "... it's having one person to bear witness to how you live your life".

It's having the one who will appreciate your good deeds, the one who will put you back on track when you get lost in your journey, the one who'll give you a silly smile when you try to be naughty, the one who will give you a shoulder to cry on, the one whom you'll see sitting alone in the corner of your room pondering on what lies ahead, the one who is going to risk and do anything just to be that person to cuddle you at night till you both fall asleep.

Remember the song "Grow Old With You?". That speaks the same thing.

Getting married is no simple game. It's a circus! It's a wild ride to the unknown. But having with you a person you know would make this ride a lot enjoyable is one great task to accomplish.

So I say, in getting married, it's not how you want to live your life, it's not how you want the house to be arranged, it's not how many children you want to have nor how rich you should become. It's making sure that you are getting married to the person who compliments you. When you got this right, then circus wouldn't be that bad.

Oh, how?! Listen to your heart (not your libido). It will not lead you astray. You'll have this certain feeling about a person that when all else fails, having her (him) is the greatest achievement you can be proud of.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Flight Back Home

Job is done (at least here in Bangkok), flight is rebooked, the documents that need to be brought back (the fruits of my labor! lavyah!! :D) are kept. Tomorrow, I'll set foot again in my native land, and will see once again my family.

Working in a foreign land has never been easy, no matter how many times you've been away, specially for those who already have their own family like me. And flight back home always draws excitement from the heart. It's like riding the plane for the first time.

So, cheers for the additonal mileage! I just hope the inflight movie is worth watching =)

Baby, Mommie's going home.

Looking thru a Glass of Iced Tea

Life, wherever part of the world, has never been this difficult and challenging, especially for the less fortunate. And, in the course of striving hard to get through everyday’s responsibilities and trying to make ends meet, we tend to overlook life’s simple pleasures. We fail to see life’s worth beyond the need to eat, to earn money, raise a family.

We often hear stories of regret of why a person did not express his or her feelings towards another when the chance is at hand. And feel more bad losing that person afterwards, may it be to death, or to one lucky man or woman who had the guts.

How then can we avoid this type of extreme heartbreak?

Look thru a glass of iced tea. Make sure the glass is clear, maybe with some cubed ice in it. Then slowly pour in the milk. And you will see, that though the milk has to go through a bumpy way to the bottom, due to the ice, or the water’s compact molecular structure, it gets there. And with a couple of easy stir, it’s there mixed with the tea, creating a wonderfully tasting drink that soothes even the most uptight nerves.

You see, what makes life worth living is life being hard. In so being, we have to have a realistic goal, and we have to have definitive tasks as to how we can achieve that. And no matter how hard each step of the way is going to be, we have to have faith. It is possible that people of same age, or same field, or same society status may hit the target earlier but faith should not be lost. Not everyone is given the same breakaways, the same hardships, the same fortunes or the same weight of responsibility. What matters most is that we’re all given the chance. And we just have to take the chance and do the most that we can. And along the way, we’ll meet people that may pave the easier way, or simply help us carry the load. And we should appreciate them and take the hand.

Surely, it is easier said than done. But still, it can be done. Stick with the “can”. And if headaches start to creep in, or faith starts to loosen, get a glass of iced tea.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Nasan na ko?

Bumalik sa ala-ala ko yung gabing nakasakay kami sa kotse ni Dada Al pauwi mula sa isang EB kasama ang mga kaibigan namin sa RX-Talk. Maisingit ko lang muna na ang RX-Talk ay mailing list ng isa sa pinakasikat na FM radio station, RX93.1. Sa grupong ito nabuo ang pagkakaibigan sa pagitan ng mga bata at matatanda, ages range from 14-30+. Pwede kayong magtaka kung panong nagpapanagpo ang pag-iisip namin gayong me generation gap. Pero wala akong masasabing malinaw na sagot maliban marahil sa hindi kami nagkakasama para lamng gumastos ng pera at lunurin ang mga sarili namin sa beer. Nagkakasama kasi dahil gusto naming makilala ang bawat isa ng lubusan - mula pabango hanggang paboritong artista, mula kantiyawan hanggang sa bolhan.

Balik lang ako sa gusto ko talagang ikuwento. Nung gabing yun, tinanong ako ni Dada "So Janie, seryoso ka na talaga ke Mike ha?" (ngayong naalala ko to parang ang dating sa akin ng tanong eh player ako ah! Hmmmm ... Nah, nde intensyon ni Dada Al un.) Nweis, tumango ako kasabay ng isang magandang ngiti. Umayuda pa si Dada Al, "Matutupad pala un sinabi mong mag-aasawa ka pag 25 ka na." kasunod nun ay ang mahaba-haba pang kwentuhan kasi sumabat na yung ibang nasa kotse. Si Yabz at Deo ata yun.

Ngayon naisip ko, nasan na ko? Natuloy ang pagpapakasal ko sa edad na 25 (isang kasal na naging ugat ng isang istoryang kikita ng malaki sa Maala-ala Mo Kaya .. ehehehe). May isang anak na napakaganda (isa pa lang. family planning) at isang asawa na wala na atang hihigit pa. Ano pa? Isang libo't isang laksang mga pangyayari na sumubok at patuloy na sumusubok sa katatagan ng aming pagsasama (sabi ko sa inyo eh, pang MMK buhay ko. Baka pwedeng maging Mano Po 4: My Wedding ... ehehehe).

Lagi kong sinasabi na kahit gaano pa ko maging successful sa aking career, ang kabuuan ng tagumpay ko ay ang pagiging ina at maybahay. Iyon ako, iyon ang gusto kong maging.

Saan ngayon papunta ang sinusulat ko na to? Hindi ko rin alam. Ito lang marahil ang sinulat kong hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sinusulat(o tina-type). Pwedeng nalulungkot lang ako dahil malayo ako ngayon sa pamilya ko. Maaring gusto ko lang mang-inggit .. ehehehe. Hindi ko alam talaga. Sa susunod na lang.

*note: originally posted at Xanga, dated Sunday, October 31, 2004

Notting Hill - Revisited

I confess, I have watched Notting Hill a zillion times already and I am far from having too much of it.

Can't blame me, Julia Roberts is undeniably a sweetheart. She's beautiful, an a-1 actress, and simply adorable. Her eyes could just melt you in an emotional scene. And her smile could, you know, launch a thousand ships! And Hugh Grant - he's ... well, huge! I mean, let alone for his British accent, I can just drool till this room get flooded (not at the moment, thanks!).

But what makes the movie a classic other than having these two brilliant actors on the helm?

The lines.

Don't you just felt a hard thud in your heart when Anna (Roberts) said "I am also a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

How about when she, out of confusion and disarray, uttered "I will regret this forever!", followed by the sulking look in William's (Grant) face and the shock on Anna's.

Oh! one more. William said to Anna "This is a very strange reality to be faced with.". Reality really has the ability to knock you off your feet and into the dust. Awww! Such pain!

The symbolism and representations.

In the movies, how would you tell the viewers that a months has passed since an event took place? We often see on screen something like "2 months later.." Or maybe we will see the character be in a lot of situation in a fast pace. But in this movie, William simply walked along a street in Notting Hill as the season changed from summer to fall. And along the way, you would also see what has taken place for some people. Neat isn't it?

How about the painting? It becomes a significant symbol of the love between Anna and William.

And who could forget the brownies? *smirk*

*note: originally posted at Xanga by the same author, dated Friday, Oct. 22, 2004

Breathing Bamboo

Pinoy music industry will be entirely different had it not gave birth to one of the finest, ultra-hip, performance-extraordinaire vocalist named Bamboo.

First known to be Rivermaya's frontman, he now leads a new, head-banging, ladies-swooning, undeniable fab band known, how else - Bamboo. With equally talented musicians like Nathan Azarcon, Ira Cruz and Vic Mercado to complete the band, they are definitely destined to conquer the airwaves and declare the stage as theirs and theirs alone.

But be warned that this post will mostly be about just Bamboo and not the entire band. I can't help myself, sorry for those who will be offended. I just ... have to ... get this extreme admiration about the man. With all due respect and love for the rest of the band, allow me to complete this piece.

One cannot deny how different of an experience listening and watching Bamboo perform. He is awesome! It's hard to contain the audience from screaming until their lungs beg them to pause for a while, or sing like they are being warped in the stage along with him and sent to another dimension, even during RM days.

When Bamboo left Rivermaya a few years back, I was saddened. I knew RM will never be the same again. Though I continued to support RM (and I love them dearly), the silent prayer and hope of Bamboo returning remains. Alas, God gave in. Thus the birth of the band.

Sadly though, my work kept me from jumping to oneof their concerts as soon as they have hit the road. But with God's divine intervention (really, it was!), GK77 concert took place and paved the road to my first ever Bamboo concert since his semi-hiatus. And my long wait and thirst of Bamboo's enticing and mega powerful voice was over! Much like finding the fountain of youth!

And hearing him sing old familiar songs like Ulan, Kisapmata, Awit ng Kabataan, Elisi transported me to the RiverMaya days. These songs really sound different and much strong with Bamboo hitting the notes. They are so distinctive and much more captivating. He even sang Englishman in New York in a very soothing yet energizing way. And would a gig be complete without their signature first hit NoyPi? Nah! Just hearing the intro of the song broke the already broken hell loose. Too sad though he didn't sing 214. That would be a nice cherry on the top.

Ohhhh ... I can just sigh and nod my head as I whisk off the magic poured in my soul. The voice, the charm, the intrigue, the slippers, the shaved head, his every jump, his every twist, his every glance, his every sweat, his being a man we all so love. Bamboo.

*note: this post was originally created at Xanga by the same author, dated Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Confession of a Working Mom (originally posted at Xanga)

If I am to single out my deepest regret that I have in my life right now, that would be not being with my daughter as much as I wanted to. Work is keeping me from being there. It is sad to think that I wasn't there when her first tooth came out. My heart aches seeing my kid loosing weight while I am out of the country working. And it is bitter-sweet to hear her talk endlessly on the other side of the line. Bitter that I cannot hold her at that moment, to hug her and let her see how proud I am to be her mother. Sweet.

I am certain this is how other working moms do, as well as the dads. It's hard. Painful in fact, but this is reality. We gotta work. We gotta strive to make sure tomorrow will be better than today. I just hope my kid will continue to be the smart one that she already is .. innocent and understanding, caring, knowing the answers to her unspoken "Whys".

Mom and Dad may not be there physically, but we are for the rest. I am not trying to sound defensive because this is life. There's no room for qualms, one should act. And act fast and willed.

I may still feel bitter-sweet of this matter but I choose to enjoy the sweetness than to make the bitterness linger.

I love you Lian!