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"i'm a bitch, i'm a mother, i'm a child, i'm a lover. i'm a sinner, but not a saint ... I've been where nobody else have dared. I am what no one dreamt of being.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Nasan na ko?

Bumalik sa ala-ala ko yung gabing nakasakay kami sa kotse ni Dada Al pauwi mula sa isang EB kasama ang mga kaibigan namin sa RX-Talk. Maisingit ko lang muna na ang RX-Talk ay mailing list ng isa sa pinakasikat na FM radio station, RX93.1. Sa grupong ito nabuo ang pagkakaibigan sa pagitan ng mga bata at matatanda, ages range from 14-30+. Pwede kayong magtaka kung panong nagpapanagpo ang pag-iisip namin gayong me generation gap. Pero wala akong masasabing malinaw na sagot maliban marahil sa hindi kami nagkakasama para lamng gumastos ng pera at lunurin ang mga sarili namin sa beer. Nagkakasama kasi dahil gusto naming makilala ang bawat isa ng lubusan - mula pabango hanggang paboritong artista, mula kantiyawan hanggang sa bolhan.

Balik lang ako sa gusto ko talagang ikuwento. Nung gabing yun, tinanong ako ni Dada "So Janie, seryoso ka na talaga ke Mike ha?" (ngayong naalala ko to parang ang dating sa akin ng tanong eh player ako ah! Hmmmm ... Nah, nde intensyon ni Dada Al un.) Nweis, tumango ako kasabay ng isang magandang ngiti. Umayuda pa si Dada Al, "Matutupad pala un sinabi mong mag-aasawa ka pag 25 ka na." kasunod nun ay ang mahaba-haba pang kwentuhan kasi sumabat na yung ibang nasa kotse. Si Yabz at Deo ata yun.

Ngayon naisip ko, nasan na ko? Natuloy ang pagpapakasal ko sa edad na 25 (isang kasal na naging ugat ng isang istoryang kikita ng malaki sa Maala-ala Mo Kaya .. ehehehe). May isang anak na napakaganda (isa pa lang. family planning) at isang asawa na wala na atang hihigit pa. Ano pa? Isang libo't isang laksang mga pangyayari na sumubok at patuloy na sumusubok sa katatagan ng aming pagsasama (sabi ko sa inyo eh, pang MMK buhay ko. Baka pwedeng maging Mano Po 4: My Wedding ... ehehehe).

Lagi kong sinasabi na kahit gaano pa ko maging successful sa aking career, ang kabuuan ng tagumpay ko ay ang pagiging ina at maybahay. Iyon ako, iyon ang gusto kong maging.

Saan ngayon papunta ang sinusulat ko na to? Hindi ko rin alam. Ito lang marahil ang sinulat kong hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sinusulat(o tina-type). Pwedeng nalulungkot lang ako dahil malayo ako ngayon sa pamilya ko. Maaring gusto ko lang mang-inggit .. ehehehe. Hindi ko alam talaga. Sa susunod na lang.


*note: originally posted at Xanga, dated Sunday, October 31, 2004

Notting Hill - Revisited

I confess, I have watched Notting Hill a zillion times already and I am far from having too much of it.

Can't blame me, Julia Roberts is undeniably a sweetheart. She's beautiful, an a-1 actress, and simply adorable. Her eyes could just melt you in an emotional scene. And her smile could, you know, launch a thousand ships! And Hugh Grant - he's ... well, huge! I mean, let alone for his British accent, I can just drool till this room get flooded (not at the moment, thanks!).

But what makes the movie a classic other than having these two brilliant actors on the helm?

The lines.

Don't you just felt a hard thud in your heart when Anna (Roberts) said "I am also a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

How about when she, out of confusion and disarray, uttered "I will regret this forever!", followed by the sulking look in William's (Grant) face and the shock on Anna's.

Oh! one more. William said to Anna "This is a very strange reality to be faced with.". Reality really has the ability to knock you off your feet and into the dust. Awww! Such pain!

The symbolism and representations.

In the movies, how would you tell the viewers that a months has passed since an event took place? We often see on screen something like "2 months later.." Or maybe we will see the character be in a lot of situation in a fast pace. But in this movie, William simply walked along a street in Notting Hill as the season changed from summer to fall. And along the way, you would also see what has taken place for some people. Neat isn't it?

How about the painting? It becomes a significant symbol of the love between Anna and William.

And who could forget the brownies? *smirk*


*note: originally posted at Xanga by the same author, dated Friday, Oct. 22, 2004

Breathing Bamboo

Pinoy music industry will be entirely different had it not gave birth to one of the finest, ultra-hip, performance-extraordinaire vocalist named Bamboo.

First known to be Rivermaya's frontman, he now leads a new, head-banging, ladies-swooning, undeniable fab band known, how else - Bamboo. With equally talented musicians like Nathan Azarcon, Ira Cruz and Vic Mercado to complete the band, they are definitely destined to conquer the airwaves and declare the stage as theirs and theirs alone.

But be warned that this post will mostly be about just Bamboo and not the entire band. I can't help myself, sorry for those who will be offended. I just ... have to ... get this extreme admiration about the man. With all due respect and love for the rest of the band, allow me to complete this piece.

One cannot deny how different of an experience listening and watching Bamboo perform. He is awesome! It's hard to contain the audience from screaming until their lungs beg them to pause for a while, or sing like they are being warped in the stage along with him and sent to another dimension, even during RM days.

When Bamboo left Rivermaya a few years back, I was saddened. I knew RM will never be the same again. Though I continued to support RM (and I love them dearly), the silent prayer and hope of Bamboo returning remains. Alas, God gave in. Thus the birth of the band.

Sadly though, my work kept me from jumping to oneof their concerts as soon as they have hit the road. But with God's divine intervention (really, it was!), GK77 concert took place and paved the road to my first ever Bamboo concert since his semi-hiatus. And my long wait and thirst of Bamboo's enticing and mega powerful voice was over! Much like finding the fountain of youth!

And hearing him sing old familiar songs like Ulan, Kisapmata, Awit ng Kabataan, Elisi transported me to the RiverMaya days. These songs really sound different and much strong with Bamboo hitting the notes. They are so distinctive and much more captivating. He even sang Englishman in New York in a very soothing yet energizing way. And would a gig be complete without their signature first hit NoyPi? Nah! Just hearing the intro of the song broke the already broken hell loose. Too sad though he didn't sing 214. That would be a nice cherry on the top.

Ohhhh ... I can just sigh and nod my head as I whisk off the magic poured in my soul. The voice, the charm, the intrigue, the slippers, the shaved head, his every jump, his every twist, his every glance, his every sweat, his being a man we all so love. Bamboo.


*note: this post was originally created at Xanga by the same author, dated Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Confession of a Working Mom (originally posted at Xanga)

If I am to single out my deepest regret that I have in my life right now, that would be not being with my daughter as much as I wanted to. Work is keeping me from being there. It is sad to think that I wasn't there when her first tooth came out. My heart aches seeing my kid loosing weight while I am out of the country working. And it is bitter-sweet to hear her talk endlessly on the other side of the line. Bitter that I cannot hold her at that moment, to hug her and let her see how proud I am to be her mother. Sweet.

I am certain this is how other working moms do, as well as the dads. It's hard. Painful in fact, but this is reality. We gotta work. We gotta strive to make sure tomorrow will be better than today. I just hope my kid will continue to be the smart one that she already is .. innocent and understanding, caring, knowing the answers to her unspoken "Whys".

Mom and Dad may not be there physically, but we are for the rest. I am not trying to sound defensive because this is life. There's no room for qualms, one should act. And act fast and willed.

I may still feel bitter-sweet of this matter but I choose to enjoy the sweetness than to make the bitterness linger.

I love you Lian!