I am 31 years old, mom of two and happily married. Inspite the ideal situation that I am in, I admit I have been hounded of my past. Not the dark, embarassing kind of "past". But the haunting feeling of a love lost, and a love that was never mine.
I confess that since college, I have been searching for these 2 "loves" that played a big part on my youmg, melodramatic life. I've asked common friends, called hotlines, searched the net .. say it, I've done it. What was I after for, you may ask. It's closure. Just like any other person who feels like there were still questions unanswered, feelings left or the denial of its non-existence.
And now, after 10 yrs I was able to look at the faces of these two great loves - at least that's what I thought of them years back. What I found out is that, there were questions no more and definitely the feelings were nil. And sadly, I had the realization that I spent precious years looking for the closure when I really don't need it.
Now what? Freedom. Freedom from the haunting.. freedom from the past. Now I can say, I've moved on.