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"i'm a bitch, i'm a mother, i'm a child, i'm a lover. i'm a sinner, but not a saint ... I've been where nobody else have dared. I am what no one dreamt of being.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Confession of a Working Mom (originally posted at Xanga)

If I am to single out my deepest regret that I have in my life right now, that would be not being with my daughter as much as I wanted to. Work is keeping me from being there. It is sad to think that I wasn't there when her first tooth came out. My heart aches seeing my kid loosing weight while I am out of the country working. And it is bitter-sweet to hear her talk endlessly on the other side of the line. Bitter that I cannot hold her at that moment, to hug her and let her see how proud I am to be her mother. Sweet.

I am certain this is how other working moms do, as well as the dads. It's hard. Painful in fact, but this is reality. We gotta work. We gotta strive to make sure tomorrow will be better than today. I just hope my kid will continue to be the smart one that she already is .. innocent and understanding, caring, knowing the answers to her unspoken "Whys".

Mom and Dad may not be there physically, but we are for the rest. I am not trying to sound defensive because this is life. There's no room for qualms, one should act. And act fast and willed.

I may still feel bitter-sweet of this matter but I choose to enjoy the sweetness than to make the bitterness linger.

I love you Lian!

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