What I write, I am

excited about New Year's Eve

2011-11-27T01:51:00.001+08:00

And I am not actually referring to that one of the most awaited celebrations the world is always looking forward to.

I am talking about the movie entitled "New Year's Eve" that is led by a stellar cast of actors, including Robert de Niro, Josh Duhamel, Katherine Heigl, Lea Michelle, Hilary Swank, and Ashton Kutcher among others. Oh... and Jon BonJovi! *squeels here*

Based on the trailer, it follows in the tradition of past movies like Love Actually and Valentine's Day - intertwined lives of couples and individuals, this time it was set in the highly-loved and beautiufl New York city on Nea Year's eve.

What's excites me more is than Jon Bon Jovi was part of it. I've seen his past films over and over again since I came here in Singapore and the chance of seeing him on big screen again will be a treat for myself!

as the heart beats not

2011-11-23T01:49:00.001+08:00

In bed, at dawn, I stare at your face
that's been hanging round my mind.

On moments when I drift away
I imagine you sitting by.

On nights, restless nights,
I reach out and see you by my side
so close I can feel you breathe
you heart beats loud,
or was it me?

The rain invites me to dance with her
when I can see your smile by its beads
The morning rays are like your arms
sheltering me, keeping me warm

But in bed, at dawn I would realize
you've been hanging round my mind
for so long now that my memories swirl
so fierce that I've lost my desire to escape

But then on moments when I drift away,
when I see you sitting by?
I see your hand so close to mine,
your thoughts spinning, taking me to its heart

But I can't go and leave,
dare not to leave and let you be
Please let me just wait in bed
from dawn till noon
whem I can let my mind drift away
and meet you there
and we need not care.

Dreams

2011-11-20T15:49:00.001+08:00

I can't wait to close my eyes
and see you on that side
where we always talk like you know me
and I can stare at you, and let you be

There, I'd stay just to be near
With you I care less of my fears
In your arms I will find comfort
My heart will speak of no other

When 'morrow comes
when I have to open my eyes
know that it's your face that I'll remember
and I shall be waiting for later to come
so I can be with you, yet again

See yah later, Krueger!

2011-11-20T04:21:00.000+08:00

I could have included vocalist John Molina's name in the title but it wouldn't rhyme. But be warned that there'll be lots of his name from this point on. Not for any reason other than he is the binding factor of the band's existence (as I see it, at least).

For some, it may appear to be that I am obsessed with the band since day one, with me uttering praises here and there of the band, wanting to watch them at any possible chance I can have. Believe me but I have gone through the same phase with Bon Jovi, Mig Ayesa, and yeah, even Clay Aiken. But with this band, it's different. Probably so because they are within our reach.

One can probably see it shallow if I say that the band John Molina & Krueger plays a great part of how my stay here in Singapore becomes way bearable. Having to work thousand of miles away from my kids and family takes a huge toll on a person, moreso a mother, like me. It doesn't help being a bit, well, mature, to have it easy going out and enjoy the crowd. But I had a 180, one dull, August night when my friends and I decided to go out and de-stress. Details of which can be found on my first entry about the band.

Needless to say that for every nightout our group scheduled, or even think of, YelloJello will be the first name of place that will pop out. Not only for the relax ambience, but because of how we tremendously enjoy the house music, and how we have become accustomed to its regulat player, John Molina & Krueger. I have this same feeling everytime I go to any bar with Bamboo or Side-A playing.The time spent with their music is spelled F-U-N .

It matters a lot that three of them are Pinoys - Alfred, Boy, and John being a SG born and raised Pinoy. Sultan, the man behind the keyboard and Rizal, the percussion whiz kid are the two more people we always look forward to watch play.

fr. left - Rizal, John, Boy and Sultan

Boy, the excellent guitarisy

Rizal on drums

vocalist John, all pumped up

bassist Alfred and Rizal

Listening to this band feels home. They make you feel at ease. In one way or the other, they make our every time spent there something to talk about in the days ahead. Their choice of songs are so in tune with the trend that even the younger crowd can sing with them to their delight. The classics, the old tunes that they sometimes include in the line-up are just the perfect 'down-memory-lane' for us, or me to be honest, who is somehow in the same age range as majority of the band members are.

They smile a lot, they kid with the crowd, they let everyone be in one with them. One readily fills up the other's weakness during performance. They are attuned to each other which makes simple mistakes and let down barely noticeable, especially to those whose ears are not so keen. Hey, every artist has their off nights right? They aren't superhuman. But nevertheless, they are performers who gives out 110% of their love for music, each and every night, six days a week, packed crowd or not. Actually, I kinda seem to enjoy them more on weekdays, when it is not too crowded, and the gang seem to be more relaxed, which somehow brings the "better best" in them, if there's such a thing.

Dancing with their music never fails to bring me to a different zone where I am 21 again, single, carefree, full of life. I can just sing and dance with them all night.

After the first time I watched the band perform, an idea for a novel sparked in me, left me outline the story even when I am supposed to be working. It made me dream of it, breathe it and write about it more than I am supposed to.

At one point when we had a misunderstanding, a night spent there, singing and dancing mend everything, without uttering any word. If only every problem can be solved that way, then we will have a happier place to be in.

I may, at times, seem like addicted, for lack of a better term, of them. But that's just how I express my appreciation. I listen to every tune. I enjoy every song, I look at how each one of them play their instrument, I watch their every move, I check out their social media sites, and the list goes on. I am not a 17-yr old dreaming of becoming a groupie, never had, never will be. That's.just.how.I.show.my.appreciation. If and when I stop talking about them, delete any song that will remind me of them, never look at the pictures of the band I've taken - that's when I say I am through.

But I am far from that. Besides, I still haven't interviewed John for my novel. :)

So, two days ago, I've read that they are moving out somewhere else. And it made me sad. The same sadness I felt when Bamboo left Rivermaya, or when Bon Jovi decided to take a break, or when Michael Jackson died. So I head out tonight and celebrate, for the last time, the years of great performances they had at YelloJello. And what can I say? .. it was f*$|ng great! Why, you asked? Here's the list:

1. everybody was in tremendously high spirits
2. everyone are pumped up to the roof
3, the crowd was wild, singing and dancing to every song
4. everyone was dancing with everyone
5. the drums are banging, the guitars riffs are lullabyes, the keyboards sounds like sax, the bass guitar beats along with your heart, their voicals are spot on
6. and John's voice reaches a new limit - that of Adelle's Rolling in The Deep. (may I please request for Someone Like You, with me on the mic? just kidding!)

Awesome!

Oh, by the way, John took off his shirt, as he does everynight - NOT! So that became a cherry on top of everyone's strawberry milkshake. It's that sweet, nobody argued.

I felt nostalgic being there. Sad yet hoping, that come opening night of their new home, we will get to see the same warm smiles, the same camaraderie amongst them, the good old tunes that rock the house down and melt our hearts at the same time.

As they bid adieu to YelloJello, a new abode awaits and everyone is excited. I am excited! In two or three weeks time, John said. The sadness lasts only for a few weeks and we'll be having a good time again.

So, au revoir!

mumblings Nov. 18, 2011

2011-11-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

Do you know?
That there's nothing I wouldn't do;
That there's not enough pain I can't take;
That there's no path I can't walk on
as long as I am holding your hand.

And I do know
that my mind's in shambles
and my heart's not with me
and I let myself wallow, be blue
since i first laid sight of you

But I choose to not be happy
if I'm not with you
I care not of tomorrow if I can't see you
I would leave this world for you

Would you?

Bamboo ... Questions, no more.

2011-11-05T21:51:00.001+08:00

News of Bamboo Mañalac going solo is something that many has probably expected as early as the time he left Rivermaya. But instead of doing so, he teamed up with also former Mayan Nathan Azarcon and formed Bamboo, the band. But it's just prologing the agony, yeah?

Now that he has decided to do it on his own, finally, people are more excited to see and know where the tides would take him. Like his namesake of a plant, is now back and rocking hard!

When Bamboo Mañalac came into the Philippine music scene in 1994 via the band Rivermaya, he immediately made a mark as the country's leading, most exciting and captivating vocalist. Who else can sing a mushy song and still be able rock your head or jump with your fist up high but Bamboo. And who can make us sing life's angst, thru the anthemic Awit ng Kabataan and Noypi, without getting to the streets and start a rally? Nobody, but Bamboo.

We first saw him as the scrawny, wide-eyed, skin-head and timid 16-17 yrd old (?) on the release of Rivermaya, the album, in 1994. Though he was the vocalist, he chose to remain in the background during interviews and set breaks, letting his bandmates do most of the talking. He is a man of a few words, as they say. But once he step on the stage and grab the mic, he is transformed into a beast! His locks, girations and stage slides is so lovely to watch you would want to jump on the stage and sing with him. To borrow Mo Twister's words, "You're an animal!". He always gives out a solid, rocking and pumped up performance, even when he's just wearing cargo pants and slippers.

His husky, solid voice is capable to give different takes on each song, may it be a cheesy Tagalog song as Ulan, or the political Mr. Clay, and even the funky Probinsyana.

As he embarks on a new phase in his music life, being a solo artist, Bamboo, now 34, is giving us a taste of what to expect from him with his haunting first single Questions. He is scheduled to launch his album No Water, No Moon sometime November. His hair has grown, which I love more, personally, and he's finally allowing himself to be heard - abount his plans, his background, his past, his music. Well, I should say he's being more outspoken, being a solo artist that he is now. And boy, he is very eloquent. Even when he is speaking, it feels like he is singing. His solo venture is promised to contain songs that somehow deviates from the usual band sound, giving us more instrumentations, and other facets of his range. Sounds exciting and something to really look forward to.

You can check out this podcast of one of his interview with Mo Twister.

Somewhere in Time ... a novel

2011-10-31T03:44:00.000+08:00

“You’re everywhere – in what I eat, in the path that I walkon (but don’t worry I never stepped on you), in my dreams, in the songs Ilisten to. Do you feel me? Yesterday, I thought I saw you in the café down theblock. You were alone. How can you be alone? I am alone. And I need you.”

-- opening line, as of draft dated 31 Oct 2011

“I can’t face you Shaun. You’d see that I have already forgiven you and youwould have the power over me, again”, Samantha thought as she continue walking. “This time I am drawing the line.”

-- last line penned, as of draft dated 31 Oct 2011

(first) Night with John Molina & Krueger

2011-08-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

When four young, vibrant, yet stressed out girls went out one night hoping for a night of some fun, their fairy godmothers must be in her perfect mood.

We found ourselves surrounded with the lights and sounds of Clarke Quay standing in front of a bar named YelloJello, contemplating whether to check out the band that's gonna play. And I'd say deciding to grab our comfy seats was the best thing we did for quite some time.

A little past ten, a band named John Molina and the Krueger took the stage. And what do you say makes a band good and rockin'? Here's my top ten list:

when the band is so friendly and warm to everyone
when the band members have great chemistry
when they sing the coolest of songs, from 80s, 90s to recent hits
when the band is capable of eliciting reactions and emotions with each song
when everyone raves about the band while playing, and long after they leave for a break, we couldn't wait for the band to get back on stage
when the male lead singer can belt out a woman's song and make it his own
when everyone in the band looks confident and oozing with charm and charisma
when the lead singer got sexy tats and so rockin', even on a simple white shirt and jeans get-up
when you are already thinking of coming back while the night is still young

Needless to say we had a blast that first night. Was back two days after with another group of friends, who had the same level of appreciation of the band, and couldn't wait for the next time.

If you are in Singapore looking for a night full of fun, dancing, singing and giggles, head out to YelloJello in The Cannery #01-06 Clarke Quay to watch John Molina and the Krueger Tuesdays to Saturdays.

after watching Seven Pounds

2011-05-28T00:42:00.001+08:00

7 beliefs reinforced after watching Seven Pounds:

1. the heart sees what the eyes can't
2. the eye is the window to our soul
3. love do come like a thief in the night
4. conscience never ceases to nag
5. good things happen to good people
6. bad things also happen to the best ones
7. do not text and drive :)

details... details

2011-05-22T09:22:00.002+08:00

I've been dreaming of my wedding day in church ...
so in case it would take a long time, here are the bits of what I want to use on that very special day

flowers:
calla lily

songs:

All My Life (america)
Me and You by Kenny Chesney (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riuXdXAOArY)
The Way You Look tonight (Frank Sinatra)
I Do (Colbie Callait)
Our Wedding day (Lee Alverson)
You had Me at Hello (Kenny Chesney)
l-o-v-e Nat king Cole
My Best Friend (Tim McGraw)

I Cross mY heart (George Strait)
I was Made to Love (Toby Mac)
Wherever We Go (Newsboys)

All The Way (Frank Sinatra)
Unbroken (Tim McGraw)
Grow Old with You Adam Sandler
Some Things Never Change (Tim McGraw

just to See you Smile (Tim McGraw)
Wedding Song (Bob Dylan)

sweet happy life - Peggy Lee

The First, The Last, My Everything. Barry White
At The Beginning. Richard Marx & Donna Lewis
Friends Theme
Let's stay together (Al Green)

It's Your Love. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Always and Forever (Heatwave, Luther Vandross)
It had To Be tp you (Harry Connick Jr.)

here and Now (Luther Vandross)
I Could Not Ask For More. Edwin McCain
Breathe (Faith Hill)

How Sweet It Is. James Taylor
When I'm 64. The Beatles
Only Wanna Be With You. Hootie & the Blowfish

I want To Spend My Life With You (Bobby Vinton)

Love You Madly. Cake
And I Love You So (Perry Como)
It's Time To Say I love you (Merrily Webber)
I Never Dreamed Someone Like You (Could Love Someone Like Me) Katie Irving
Find Me (David Gates)
How Sweet It Is to Be Loved By You

Reason To Believe (Lobo)
Thank You For Loving Me ( Jon Bon Jovi)
(You Want to0 Make a Memory (Bon ovi)

(Prelude)
One Hand, One Heart
The Gift of Love. Hopson
On Eagles Wings - Joncas
the Bridal Prayer -Roger Copeland
You Are Mine (David Haas)
There is Love

a mother's day message

2011-05-08T23:57:00.002+08:00

Ma, it was you whom I called when I was on labor. And being a first time mom then, I get to see you in a different light and I get to appreciate you better. You've always been my pillar of strength and source of wisdom. I thank you for loving me and my family unconditionally. I am trying to be the kind of mother that you are to me. I will forever be your little girl Mama. You are the best, I love you.

Looking back and moving on ...

2010-08-06T14:35:00.002+08:00

During our recent seminar for project managers, which focused on people management, waves of emotions and countless memories engulfed me as I listen to the speakers and the reactors. It didn't matter if the words they used were eloquent or not because for me, the message was loud and clear - people management is all about:

1. understanding (of one self and of others)

2. respect for each other (be it opinion, skill, position, etc.)

3. camaraderie

4. establishing team focus and goals

All of these are easier said than being accomplished. Respect, for one, is earned. And it is applies to everyone. Some of which would take time - like camaraderie. But this taking of time would certainly make the path smooth, and the goal clearer, if only each person in a team is honestly open to it.

I mentioned "team focus and goals" - not just an individual's. For if it is the latter, it may fall under "vested interest". Sadly, vested interest is almost always resides in one's heart. The higher the level of personal interest defines your being "makasarili". But this is another post.

The ability to establish team focus and goal comes easy if the first 3 items exists. Anybody disagree? :)

As we listen to the speakers (and give reactions amongst ourselves), I cannot help but to be sentimental. Memories come flashing like a movie. I was even teary-eyed several times, if only for a colleague's funny remarks. Little did I know that the rest of us feels the same. Nostalgic. Sad but true, that this is all we can be right now - nostalgic, remembering how we used to be. Like lovers who had other factors (third party, parents, conflict of interest) ruined what good there is, our beloved company seems to be going thru the same.

Does everything else fails? Would there be a time when we can all be happy again? Really happy despite the odds? It's everyone's question and right now, your answer is as good as mine.

I am not one to deny positivism. Maybe this is all a dream from which we will wake up soon and see different. Maybe. There's no harm to hope. But no matter how you see yourself, where you see yourself, please do not forget how we were before - a family. A family that understands each other (though there were bickering), that respects each other, with an overflowing love and camaraderie and that is for a common and united goal. And whatever the future holds for us, keep the experience in our pockets and bring to wherever we may be. Share them and add more.

Inception

2010-07-23T11:21:00.000+08:00

I have been hearing and reading lots of excellent review of Leonardo DiCaprio's new flick Inception. It's a Christopher Nolan creation. The teaser kind of gave me a Batman/Dark Knight after taste, not just because of Nolan but also due to the presence of Michael Caine (Alfred) and Cillian Murphy (Scarecrow).

The movie though promises a very rich CGen effects and intricate plot. Loking forward to seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt showing his more mature attack on roles ... interesting :) (I can still him as the cute and ackward Cameron James in 10 Things I Hate About You). Besides, it's a DiCaprio's movie. Who says no to him? :)

Is that the movie house calling, or what?

Gossip Girl

2010-05-24T10:18:00.006+08:00

I am. Today. Gossip Girl.

Sure, office scandals are not uncommon, Through the years, your company (past and present) had its own fair share of stories that are too interesting and juicy, it would give the headlines of Perez' Hilton's blog a run for its money.

Just.like.ours.

Employees have two options when there is a gossip going around - shrug it off or dig deeper into it. I used to just go along with the flow of talk, just enjoying the exchange of theories and stories that either affirm or deny the chism. But for this particular chism that includes an upper and a lady (who acts and feel like a boss), I am ready to get my hands a bit dirty *evil grin*.

Believe you me, I could have just let them be. But because of the drastic changes in the company and how it affected our population, our existence, or importance, our human rights ... no Sir, I am gonna give them a doze of their own medicine.
So, lemme start off with this.

There's the concious effort to hide whatever's going on between them. But a woman is the last not to brag of anything that she gets from his lover, subtly or not. Remember the Smart commercial where 2 girls try to outdo each other with what their men are giving them ("Paulo got me gold.")? In a slip of the tongue, or maybe in an attempt to act friendly, or simply be mayabang about the gift, the girl mentioned it to a colleague. This colleague, at some point thereafter mentioned the incident to her other friends. These friends, who have been doubtful of the lady's connection with the upper, found a blog entry that connects the dot, so to speak. But as they say, nothing is concrete"till the fat lady sings.

To think that the upper has been bragging of his "walang kaibigan, walang kamag-anak" statement. Tama nga naman sya .. lover lang ang pwede?

There we go Upper AXA-ders ... looks like there's more about the lady than not having breaks in the morning ... Will bling and wallet with greenies be enough to keep the flame alive, and make the office life of us here a living hell? I have the blog entries to share, safe and sound in at least two other locations. When it's time, and it's needed, it'll be a bomb.

Bangkok on my mind ...

2010-02-15T16:23:00.006+08:00

As I visited Chico Garcia's blog entry, it suddenly dawned on me that I am missing Bangkok.

Homesickness does not kick me as much whenever I get to be assigned there. It's probably because the people do not quite look different from the Filipinos. The weather could be one factor as well, as it's basically the same as what we have here in the Philippines. There are quite a number of Filipinos everywhere too. When the locals speak, that's when my bubble gets burst.

I am missing the humidity
I am missing the locals' smiles

I am missing working at Exchange Tower (here's us inside ET, with our team and Sir Tino)

I am missing Bangkok night lights

I am missing doing this crazy "photo shoots" ehehehe

I am missing the not too crowded moviehouse in Emporium and MBK, even on an opening night. Oopps! Sorry for the miplaced hand :)

I am missing the BTS (sobrang saya sumakay dito .. stress free)

I am missing attending mass at Holy Redeemer Church

I am missing our room in Chatra Court (no matter how often I say "Are there no other place to stay?") .. That's my reflection in the mirror as I took this photo

I am missing the taste and smell of Pad Thai
I am missing my almost daily routing of walking along Sukhumvit road even at the wee hours of the night, without being scared that I might get robbed.

I am missing the regular sized coke that's as big as a super large drink in Wendy's
I am missing the 5-baht california maki being sold in front of Panthip
I am missing the late night drinking and videoke in Suan Lum Night market
I am missing the 85-baht eat all-you-can spots

haaaaayyy ... take me back please :)

Flavor of Life

2009-01-25T08:19:00.001+08:00

Being away from home, I tend to look for something to do, to learn, just to prevent the homesickness to kick in. And thanks to Mareng Kezy and her much recommended Hanayori Dango (Japanese kick of the mangga), sleepless nights and dragging days pass smoothly.

Below is an English translation of HD Season 2's theme Flavor of Life, sang by Utada Hikaru.

♪When you say "Thank you" to me,
it somehow makes me feel a bit pained.
And after you say "Goodbye,"
that magic that I couldn't escape from is just a fleeting bitterness,
This is the flavour of life.
The flavour of life.♪

I dreamt of a harvest day,
and picking unripened fruit
In the space between "not quite lovers"
and "not quite friends."
And because I couldn't take that one last step forward,
You tell me it's frustrating, baby. ♪　

♪ Sweet empty invitations and dry, flavourless talk -
These sort of things won't ever interest me.
And when things don't go the way you wanted,
You don't just throw your life away.
When you suddenly ask me,
"What's wrong?"
I just say, "No, it's nothing."
And the way my smile disappears after you say "Goodbye,"
it isn't like me at all.
Somehow the more I want to believe in you, the more painful it becomes.
Rather than declaring "I am in love with you,"
wouldn't a simple "I love you" be more like you, after all?

The flavour of life.
The unexpected scent of the person
I'd just started to forget,
it brings to mind that time...
I want to honestly be happy,
more honest than the pure white of piled snow.
I don't want diamonds.
I'd rather have a softer, warmer future.
I'd rather spend as much time as I can with you.

I was Cook-ed!

2008-06-02T14:18:00.003+08:00

I wasn't expecting to be all excited at the start of AI's Season 7 months back. The last time I got so into following the competition was 5 seasons back, which was Clay Aiken's time. This time, it is my guilty pleasure to devote almost half of my Wednesdays and Thursdays (Philippine setting) checking out YouTube for the performances and results updates.

When the Top 24 was announced, I was so sad knowing Josiah Lemming wasn't able to make it. But then again, there were still my Top 4 - Michael Johns, Danny Noriega, Ramiel Malubay and David Archuleta. Yeap, no Cook in my list.

Danny didn't even reached top 12. Ramiel wasn't able to prove she was the powerhouse everyone thought she was during the audition. Michael was probably a victim of racism, being an Aussie, was not supported by the american voters (hmmm, same case with fellow Aussie Mig Ayesa, don't you think?). David reached finale, with another David. Ah-huh, David Cook. And everybody knows the bigger David gets to eat the cake in the end.

So, you Cook-addicts must be laughing at me right now, with your fingers pointing directly to my face my eyes almost crossed and chanting "Our David is the winner .. Our David is the winner.."

Alright! Point taken.
I didn't like David, though he sang a Bon Jovi song during auditions, not because he doesn't have the talent but because of that smug look on his face. But his Billy Jean version made me realize I can totally ignore the smugness and just take pleasure on his artistry. As David C filled us all with his personal take on each of his chosen songs, I can no longer deny that all along I was putting my bet on the wrong David.

Little Archuleta is talented as well, and I so wanted him to win because I feel he needs the title more than Cook does. Just look at Clay. But the public has spoken and he definitely embraced and owned that night - it's definitely the time for him to be more than a name or a face in the crowd ... c'mon sing with me now ... "... I know this is the time, this is the time of life ..."

When realization strikes ...

2007-10-10T00:59:00.000+08:00

Some years ago, before I found the man I am happily married to now, I was on a different element. I would like to claim, forgive my being narcissistic, that I am a smooth operator. I get what I want - my time, my way. To say that I am slick is an understatement. I may not be the drop-dead gorgeous kinda gal, but I have my charms indeeed. And I know how to used it - back then.

Back then. Back then. Back then.

10 yrs into being married and with a kid, I kinda lost that "power". Not that I need it. I guess I just want to have my confidence back. I am not enjoying standing behind the curtain At least I want the power to stir something great.

Just ranting.

Ode to E

2007-08-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

Age often equates to a man's greatness.
But I know it is the heart that really matters.
Possessed with a burning passion
of achieving what you believe in
does defines the reason you exist.

Exist not just for personal glory,
neither for treasures so grand,
but to be the one to guide a brother
to know his worth, to realize his path.

A free-spirit, as others perceive you to be.
A gentle soul full of mysteries.
One could spend her whole lifetime
knowing the depths of who you really are.

A great journey awaits
as you embrace who you are.
Would you go the road less travelled
or venture on the easy highway?

Just trust your heart, follow your instinct.
Learn from the everyday people
who graces your way.
And take in what you seem would add up
to the kind of person you want to be.

C'est la Vie

2007-08-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

Do you see yourself luckywith all the things you've achieved
and the dreams you have realized?
Do you see each as your driving force;
The wind that takes you thus far?

There may be moments of gray clouds,
yet there are times of rainbows.
There are times of endless cries,
after which are days of joys.

Life you see, can be a deceitful lover
for it can send you to the bridge of insanity.
But then life can be your one true love
that can be the only reason of your existence.

Live life and die today!
Have no shadows of regrets.
Celebrate life with all its thorns,
Breathe life and turn your back on sorrows.

A Lullaby

2007-07-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

I have written poems
'bout our fruits of love
But haven't penned one
'bout you and our life.
So here's one just for you
not just to say "I love you",
but to hail my admiration
and my undying appreciation.

We had a rocky start
and rocky our life's still.
But I never once felt
that you're loosing faith
that what we've started
is worth living for;
that what God has blessed us with
is enough to let us soar.
Sour into new heights
and defy all the odds,
we will in God's time.
With you I lay my heart
and our kids' life.

Other's may perceive our life differently
but both of us know the truth,
of how hard our road has been.
Hard, yes, but I see it as our destiny.
And I trust our Lord
that we will finally see the rainbow's end.
Our journey may have been bumpy,
but with you as my husband
and the kids as our joys,
life is LIFE!, love is LOVE!

I love you won't be enough,
without you, I dare not face life.
But I love you, I'll say true.
In love with you, I'll stay still.
Hon, you've been my pillar of strength
more than I have been for you.
I pray that we stay,
whatever comes our way.
I pray that we'll all be together
in all of our days.

2007-06-22T14:40:00.000+08:00

Ang tao, habang tumatanda at nabubuksan ang isip sa samu't-saring kaalaman, nagbabago. Maaring maging mas mabuting nilalang o madala sa mabilis na daloy ng kawalang-patutunguhan.

Ang tao rin, habang nagiging maalam (pwede ring tingin nya lang maalam na sya), ay nagkakaroon ng pakiramdam na angat sya sa iba, na lagi syang tama. Na kung ano man ang binitawan nyang salita, itaga mo sa bato at maubos man ang buhok, paninindigan nya yun.

Napakadali sa isang tao ang mag-ari ng papuri at pagkilala na "Oo, tama ka.". Subalit napakahirap namang tanggapin, lalo na sa sarili, na "Punyeta, mali ako!"

Bakit nga ba? Kabawasan ba ng karangalan ang umako ng kamaliang ikaw naman talaga ang maygawa? Maayos ba ang isang bagay kung patuloy mong paninindigan ang isang maling desisyon dahil lang takot kang masabihang tanga? O katangahan nga ba ang magkamali?

Maraming pwedeng maging puno't dulo ng isang pagkakamali. Ngunit gano man ang gawing pagdepensa sa kung bakit ka naging mali, isa lang ang nanatiling katotohanan. Mali ka. Tanggapin na lang at magsuhestiyon kung pano mo itatama yun. Pano itatama ha, hindi kung pano mo isasalba ang sarili mo sa pagiging tanga (oo na, nde na katangahan ang magkamali. pero sa kawalan ng ibang termino, tanga lang talaga pwede ... ehehehehe). Yun, eh kung paniniwalaan ka pa - at yan ang mahirap.

Me mga araw pa naman na parang pinagbagsakan ka na ng mundo at parang lahat ng gawin mo ay palpak. At ang masaklap pa, ang pagtanggap ng kamalian ay parang paglunok ng pinakamapait na gamot na pwede mong matikman. Mahirap tanggapin pero alam mong dapat mo ng lagpasan. Be done and over with, ika nga. Tapos, nde pa agad mawawala sa panlasa mo ang pait at habang pilit mong winawaksi ang pait, para namang nanunudyo ang isip at paulit-ulit na maglalaro yung maling nagawa mo. Minsan pa, dala mo hanggang pag-idlip at magugulat ka na lang na pagkalipas ng panahon, nasa balikat mo pa pala. Ay saklap!

Ayus lang yun, part of growing up. Lahat naman nagkakamali, everybody goes thru a phase of stupidity. Charge it to experience na lang. Tawanan mo pag nababalikan, ngusuan mo lang yung mga nanunudyo, ismiran mo pag wala na sa hulog. Pero wag mo nang patulan, katangahan na naman yun. Ok, fine, mali lang pala.

Pero putsa, mahirap talagang tanggapin na mali ka ha! Whew! Pero oks lang. Ayl be payn!

CAMS .. Rants, rave and what's nots

2007-06-14T22:27:00.001+08:00

I would like to thank the management for a raise we trully deserve, after having shoved to death's mouth (figuratively) and thrown in the wild. What? No raise still? So that was just a dream then .. Deym! Talk about life getting the best of you but not returning a bit of something to put you back at your feet.

I would still like to think of the increase. But for now, let me talk talk about ... our journey. This is also my homage to my colleagues - to those who have started this project, those who already left (gone mad at implementing the specs perhaps?), those who are still bravely standing, those whom I will held my hands up with when this project finally goes to production. Pals, my hats off to all of you.

CAMS is undeniably the hardest and biggest and weirdest project I have been involved with. Not only for the fact that our specs have gone from the size of a fly to a rhino. Added to that are the users who either do not think first before speaking, or just simply having their ego-trip. I am definitely wasted. Being very far from the comforts of home, thousand of miles away from the warmth of my family - I have been standing on the brink of loosing my wit. My body clock has definitely lost its mind. My lingo has become that of the jargons we have been hearing and reading since time immemorial. I have found new friends and have added new enemies in my hate-book. I can no longer feel the happiness on weekends and I have been missing my soft pillows. I have memorized almost all the songs in my PC.

Probably one of the few positive things that has happened to me was being aware of Augustana's music. Did I say they are ubah-hot and tremendously talented bunch? I just did!

To say that I feel like standing at the edge of a ravine is an understatement. The only tie that's keeping me at bay is the scent of my babies and my husband I so missed.

Alright, there was DreamWorld.. finally we were able to go there. Enjoyed the Snow Town, loved the Super Splash, lost my breath on Viking and Space Mountain, got comfy on the cable car. Wonderful. One of the few times I can say this.

I just wish my previous team members were with us.

To CAMS team, we have been on a bumpy ride, it's been exciting and challenging. I still have my positivity on my sleeves that we would soon ride that TG aircraft soon.

Cheers, life is still great.

Talk About Closure

2007-05-28T00:20:00.001+08:00

I am 31 years old, mom of two and happily married. Inspite the ideal situation that I am in, I admit I have been hounded of my past. Not the dark, embarassing kind of "past". But the haunting feeling of a love lost, and a love that was never mine.

I confess that since college, I have been searching for these 2 loves that played a big part on my melodramatic life. I've asked common friends, called hotlines, searched the net .. say it, I've done it. What was I after for, you may ask. It's closure. Just like any other person who feels like there were still questions unanswered, feelings left or the denial of its non-existence.

And now, after 10 yrs I was able to look at the faces of these two great loves of my life - at least that's what I thought of them years back. What I found out is that, there were questions no more and definitely the feelings were nil. And sadly, I had the realization that I spent 10 precious years looking for the closure when I really don't need it.

Damn!

Now what? Freedom. Freedom from the haunting.. freedom from the past. Now I can say, I've moved on.

test

2006-07-17T20:08:00.000+08:00

my blog turned kaputz! .. let's see.

Second angel on the wing ...

2006-06-15T19:22:00.000+08:00

After four years, our family have been blessed with another child. Yes friends, I am 3 months on the way! And no matter how harder it is this time (the first was really a breeze), I am loving every minute of being pregnant!

Please pray for a safe pregnancy and delivery, normal and healthy baby (may it be a boy this time ;d) for me. I'll be counting on you.

The Tango of Music and Love

2005-11-22T15:37:00.000+08:00

Mariah Carey, TLC, Ella Mae Sayson, Martin Nieverra and Kyla are just few who have been a part of my life. Not that I am friends with them (though I wish I am), their music are.

They were there when I was down the slope of love. They cheered me when I was high with the magic of it. They shed light to my doubts when I got trapped in the web of cupid’s spell. They stood by me when I thought love has lost its place in Webster. And just like what Bonnie Tyler famously said in her Billboard hit “Love songs won’t leave you, as lovers often do.”

Love and music is like Romeo and Juliet, or Anthony and Cleopatra, or Jennifer Lopez and Ben Afflect (before the break-up). Where goes love, so does music. Any milestone in a relationship is depicted perfectly in the tune currently playing on the radio. Every reason of happiness, anger, hurt or sadness is alleviated or heightened by a song. And when sung, the performer seems to convey all the emotions you have in your heart (though we sometimes wish their facial expressions would give justice to the song as well).

Music is lyrical poetry. While words help us paint the fantasy we all want to live in, music softly carries us there. And love – love is the fire that keeps us burning with faith that in the end, it (love) would conquer all.

While a song can be played all day and all night, it would mean nothing without anybody relating to it. And love (or hate) is just a feeling if there are no songs to help us get past through dreaming of love, falling for it, living in it, dying for it, and resurrected for it.

It just goes to show that one cannot survive without the other. And people cannot be in love without loving music. And succumbing to the power of love cannot happen without any melody to blow the wind.

Love and music is therefore everywhere. They’re there when a person comes to our lives and turns our fantasy to reality. They share our sleepless nights when sweet turned to sour and they stay until the storm quiets down. Then goes the cycle again.

“Here, there and everywhere..,” so The Beatles say. And we too shall remain.

A Rendezvous With An Old Love

2005-11-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

I have almost forgotten how it was to be engulfed in a sudden rush of excitement. I have realized I almost allowed myself to forget the sleepless nights just thinking of how the day crazily went by. And I almost fooled myself, and maybe everyone, that I've became numb and deaf to the call of my first love. And I never expected myself, in such a long time, to set foot to that place that used to be my world.

The new face of Araneta Coliseum hasn't made as much impact as it gave me one hot October afternoon. I was to set foot to an old home. I was to say hello once again to the people I have spent so much good time with. And I was to see the game that has etched a great deal of memories in my life - basketball.

I, as a young kid, about 6 years old and a girl at that, used to be glued in the television with literally my whole clan, 3 times a week watching basketball. And since time immemorial, I have never supported any team other than Ginebra. They may have gone thru several name changing, Ginebra or Gilbey's or Gordon Gins, they will always be Ginebra.

I used to think my fascination and support to the team was because my fave player of all time, Magic Man Dondon Ampalayo, was part of the team. But after he had a semi-hiatus and came back donning a new uniform, being Alaska, my heart was still with the Gins. Then I thought maybe it's because of Jaworksi. He, as everybody believes, is the heart and soul of Ginebra, if not the PBA itself. But Jawo retired from playing, became a senator but lo and behold, I am still on the Gin Kings' side.

I grew up looking at the faces of Jaworski, Dondon, the Loyzaga Brothers, Mamaril, Rudy Distrito, Leo Isaac among other Ginebra players. Then came new blood for my team in the name of Jayvee Gayoso, Marlou Aquino (now with SLR), Bal David (retired they say and has migrated in the States), Noli Locsin, Vince Hizon (where's he?). Also in the team was the low profile but ever dependable players as Benny Cheng, Pido Jarencio (retired?), Wilmer Ong. Several imports hold a special place in my heart for being such a wonderful help to my team - Michael Hacket, Billy Ray Bates, Chris King, Joe Ward.

2 years back, I somehow lost the interest. I felt there are other shows that could take my time other than PBA, and other games that I can enjoy doing like volleyball and badminton. I lost track of the new names in the league (though from time to time, I hear several names from my siblings who are still so much into it). My Ginebra wasn't the old Ginebra I fell in love with. It was the same feeling I had when Dondon officialy hanged his jersey up.

Until that sunday afternoon when my sister was able to drag me into seeing a game with my kid. I thought to myself "What the heck!". And so as I enter Araneta once again, savoring my every step on the stairs, seeing other people going from one gate to another looking for a good spot, entering the main door and seeing once again the arena where my idols have played, an old feeling creeped in my veins and started to fill me up.

I am here again. Loving being there. Enjoying every tick of the clock. Screaming to my heart's content until my voice became so hoarse. And looking around, for one minute, I kept quiet and just let myself drown in the deafening chants of the crowd saying "Ginebra! Ginebra! Ginebra".

As a closing note, I have established such a higher respect and faith to Erik Menk. He's one helluva player.

as the writing goes on ...

2005-10-17T14:31:00.000+08:00

Writing has been, and will always be, my passion. Be it may commercially created (re: hoping to be recognized and be published) or just a diary-like piece, I have always put so much of my heart in my writing that I hope people would feel the emotions that I have my fingers caress my keyboard. I wish "my readers" would be in the same dimension I was in as I allow my hands to type words popping in my mind.

Though I admit that I am not as eloquent as other writers (or bloggers) are, I make up for this "deficiency" by making my writing as vivid and imaginable as I can. I try to level up with what I presume to be most of my readers experience and interest. I write what I feel. What I write, I am.

I try to come up with a funny tale but I always end up on a serious note. I try to passionately write about someone I adore so much (at this point in time, it would be MiG Ayesa) but they almost always go to my draft list. This happens when I feel I am not making any justice in revealing the depth of my appreciation.

As it is for others, blogging (or writing .. dang! they seem to be appearing along side each other too often!) is my way of releasing anger, pain, happiness, triumph, boredom, love, anticipation. Yeah, mostly about anything. They are mostly my private thoughts which I want to share (then makes them not private anymore, right?). What I haven't tried, but so anxious of doing, is to write about my fantasies - date, lines, movie scene, sex position, place to have sex, have sex with ... argh! Where did that come from?

Honestly speaking, I haven't ventured out to speaking anything about sex. My stories on sex are safely tucked in the deepest part of my brain. But I tell you, they are much eager to be unleashed as the lion that attacked Roy! But I am getting there *smirk.

This post is more of raving (and ranting on the side) of what I love doing and miss of doing more - writing.

I just hope many would be able to visit my blog and know me thru my writing.

Song of Longing

2005-10-17T11:44:00.000+08:00

How can I cry when I should smile?
How can I ask for a hand when nobody's insight?
One can only think how hard it could be
to put up a front, and just let it be.

I wonder how, in cold lonely nights
can I last till dawn and still manage to laugh.

I often think how, in warm summer days
can I stand the longing of being away
from the one I treasure, I adore?

How then can I muster words of hope
when even my heart feels the fading faith?

Will tomorrow be better?
Will my faith bid it's adiue?
Or will my beaten heart clings for its last breath
and fight to start anew?

I wonder then, when the sun'll shine bright.
When even the moon'll shed me some light.
My heart longs for the warm nights
When I can lay my sleepy head by your side.

If I Knew Heaven

2005-09-05T18:03:00.001+08:00

If I knew heaven I knew you must have come from there.
For you laughter is like a smooth wave of air
sending my thoughts in a land far away.

You are my sweet little angel
who blossoms so quick yet so lovely.
You are my guiding star
whose light never falter, always in sight.
And God has given you a beautiful name
Mary Julliane, my own flesh.

If I knew heaven, I knew you are an angel.
For your existence defined what I would become

Each waking day, each passing moment
it seems that your charm never cease
to draw a smile in my lips
and give life to my breath.

If I knew heaven I knew you are God's creation
sent here on earth
to guide me thru life's struggles,
to lift me in my every fall,
to bring smile when my eyes show sadness,
to know Jesus' love is in abundance.

The touch of your soft, litle hands
brings youth and life in me.
I dwell in bliss as you sing a song
no better than anybody.
I always long for your soothing voice,
and your sweet, tender kisses.
I knew how it feels to be in heaven
when God blessed me with thee.

So Into MiG

2005-09-05T15:00:00.000+08:00

I have a confession to make. I'd be thirty next year (shucks!) and a mother to a three-year old baby girl. I have thought that I've gone past the stage of going gaga over some celebrity. But lo and behold, I am at it again. I go crazy and helpless at the same time. And who is this beautiful stranger?

It's MiG Ayesa!

I have been struck by MiG-flu since day one of Rockstar InXs. And though I may not be able to brag the length of time that I've been addicted to MiG, I can probably be welcomed by other MiGsters as someone who holds him so dear in my heart.

I have compilations of MiG's performances in the contest, in video and audio format, have his face as my fone's wallpaper, even have his version "Baby I love Your Way" version as my ringtone. Am I an addict or what??!!

Plus, I admit that my guilty pleasure for months now is to surf the net for any news (old and new), blog posts, message board entries and pictures about him.

I would be soooo surprised to know anybody who haven't heard of him, or read about him! That'd be crazier :D. Anyhow, I'd be kind enough to give the links below for everyone to read more of this gorgeous (gees, those eyes could melt me) and truly-talented artist.

Rockstar InXs: MiG Profile
Mig Central
Mig Ayesa's Official Site
Team MiG

So, I am back to my teenage days, yes. The 13-yr old in me has taken over, when it comes to MiG, that is.

An Ode to My Old Friends

2005-08-24T16:54:00.000+08:00

Last night on my way home, as Mother Nature showers her roots, faces of my friends back in highschool and college came to my mind. Right then our "history" again unfolded so fast that I felt dizzy for a while.

I am writing this piece as my homage to my closest girl friends whom, in their own little way, adds up to what I am today and where I am now. We may have parted ways but I know in our hearts, our friendship's flame still has its glow.

My highschool life, as Sharon Cuneta puts it in her song "how exciting kay saya!"

Rhea - The statuesque beauty, with an appealing smile. I heard you are in Dubai with your family. I always remember how you always give us warm accomodation in your home, especially during that "cinematic" scene involving me, our friend's ex, Amor and Bruce.

Laila - our math wizard. For me, your ample cheeks, bedimpled smile and beautiful eyes always make us look like "alalay" coz you're like a Mexican. Pero pag nagsalita ka na, lumalabas ang pagiging jologs .. which never cease to brighten our days.

Jocelyn - ang aming drama princess! .. I can still remember how Viv's always tease you about your lovelife and Ali. Sa bandang huli, kayo pa rin ang nagkatuluyan. I miss your kwento.

Vivian - the comedian, pero cute! Kung lumabas siguro si Ethel Booba nung time natin, pwede mo syang panisin sa pagiging kikay at prangka! Your laughter can always bring the house down!

Jack - our rocker, the fashionista! I love the way you wear your clothes, be it our school uniform or your old faded jeans. You've always been a fighter - of love, of friends, of family. Nice to see you in Friendster.

Then we all graduated. Muntik pa ngang hindi tayo maka-akyat ng stage because of that incident involving our male friends. Pero dahil sa inyo, the word "friendship" has its different meaning.

Tapos, college na. I was in a group called "Teenhearts". Baduy no? Pero hindi nung time namin. We're group of six females, and our codes were thirTEEN - nineTEEN, thus came the name. We used to sing on school programs. One male friend of ours, Emerson, calls us "Fixing A Broken Heart" girls, for it seem to be our national anthem back then. What made us six click is our love for love! I can vividly remember that during our 2nd to 4th year in college, we used to have our private afternoon sessions when we drown ourselves with Cali and cried a lot over the love of our lives. Funny, that as we progress with our studies, some of us successfully "graduated" from being head-over-heels with our boy toy.

Unsurprisingly, what I recall is that when we finished college, there were only two of us who still keep our hearts open to the same person we have loved since time immemorial. That was me and Medy. I knew though, that even if at that time some of us have learned to move on, their love for that person is still there.

Let me roll the names then ...

Herlyn - We call her Mommy-Hon. And her boyfriend Daddy-Hon. She's been our "mom" in school, with her soothing voice and calm demeanor.

Riza - our gorgeous mother superiora. She's our "manang". Not that she looks like one but because she always pray. If the prayers were for J or for our exams, only she could tell.

Anne - our sexy, chinky-eyed Ate. Next to Herlyn, she's our disciplinarian. We have been an extended family for her since we also spend many afternoons in their house. And her family had always been so gracious and accomodating. Right now, pareho na tayong mommy .. pareho pa pangalan ng baby natin!

Dalia - our fragile baby doll. She may not be the youngest pero we treat her as such. Sobra ding ma-inlove. Pang MMK ang buhay. Pero Dalz, saan ka man dinala ng tadhana mo (at sana mabasa mo to), miss na miss ka na namin! Next din to ke Riza sa pagiging madasalin. Sobrang bait!

Thet - ang aming bunso. Sa edad, si Thet ang bunso. Yung bahay nila sa Luzon, parang bahay na rin namin. Sobrang kikay pero mahiyain. Napaka-pasensyosa.

Gusto ko lang isama sa listahan si Kuya Ed. Kuya, nakaka-miss tumambay sa boarding house nyo. Sino na ba nakatuluyan mo? Nami-miss na rin kita. Kung alam ko lang na yun ang ang huling sem na i-stay mo sa EA, sana mas nag-spend pa kami na time with you.

Tapos na ang high school, tapos na rin sa college .. Yung iba nakapagtapos, nagta-trabaho. Yung iba, masaya na sa pagiging housewife. Pero ano mang buhay ang tinatahak namin, isa lang ang gusto kong sabihin "HINDING-HINDI KO KAYO MAKAKALIMUTAN."

Pero hindi pa to and ending .. me isa pa kong hindi nababanggit - si Grace.

Grace is the person anybody would want to be their bestfriend. Kahit napakalayo namin sa isa't-isa at madalang kaming mag-usap, sa puso ko, sya pa rin ang bestfriend ko. At kahit na ilang taon pa kaming hindi magkita, once nagtagpo ang aming landas, nandun pa rin ang pagiging magkaibigan namin. Marami na tayong pinagdaanan Gara. Alam ko, hanggang ngayon, sinusubok pa tayo ng panahon, lalo ka na. Pero you've been a survivor. KAYA MO YAN!

Minsan, magkikita ulit tayo. Magkakakwentuhan ng matagal. Sasariwain natin ang highschool, ang buhay pagkatapos nun, at ang buhay natin ngayon.

Sa inyong lahat na nabanggit ko, sana mabasa nyo to. At kung hindi man, sana dalhin ng hangin at makarating sa inyo.

The sun is warm, the grass is green ...

2005-05-06T19:03:00.000+08:00

I was able to watch again the movie "The Next Karate Kid", featuring of course my fave Jap Mr. Miyagi, along with Hilary Swank (love her more in Boy's Don't Cry).

And there came the line "The sun is warm, the grass is green", which evidently is the title to this entry.

In situations like the one we are in right now - when cramming is such the word of the day, when schedule's all fuzzed out and became "indefinite", when pressure is the last feeling you swear you wouldn't want to have, and when you intently wish your family is here to cheer you up, Mr. Miyagi's line is the sweetest thought one could rely on to.

Breath in, breath out, much like saying the infamous line (again from Mr. Miyagi) "wax in, wax out". When said calmly (try, though could very hard I tell you!), everything seems to fall into its proper prospective. Your heart would beat normally, your aching back seems to be a bit better and you cannot stop your self from wearing a smile, with the hope that everything could be just fine.

And it does, indeed.

"Will You Marry Me?" (or Should I Marry You?")

2005-05-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

It's not yet the marrying month (re:June) but allow me to create this entry, as my two-cents worth to those thinking of popping the question, to those hoping to be popped the question with, to those wishing the man to pop this question may arrive, and to those who simply get their selves contented with the "will you marry me" scenes in movies.

I am married, if you will ask, and a mom. And I tell you, being asked THE question is not how they usually put it in movies. But I guess the manner it is done does not matter more than thinking where this leads, or is it the right time, or is the person you're with is really the one.

Yeap, you thought right. Getting married can be one tough mystery to unravel. Very tricky actually. And confusing to say the least.

But what do we gain from getting married anyways? Besides the fact that you'll have to wake up each day of your remainining days seeing the same face (that's if you remain faithful), what's there to look forward to?

Last night, we watch "Shall We Dance" on DVD. And Bev (Susan Sarandon) answered her own question ".. what makes a person want to get settled?". She said "... it's having one person to bear witness to how you live your life".

It's having the one who will appreciate your good deeds, the one who will put you back on track when you get lost in your journey, the one who'll give you a silly smile when you try to be naughty, the one who will give you a shoulder to cry on, the one whom you'll see sitting alone in the corner of your room pondering on what lies ahead, the one who is going to risk and do anything just to be that person to cuddle you at night till you both fall asleep.

Remember the song "Grow Old With You?". That speaks the same thing.

Getting married is no simple game. It's a circus! It's a wild ride to the unknown. But having with you a person you know would make this ride a lot enjoyable is one great task to accomplish.

So I say, in getting married, it's not how you want to live your life, it's not how you want the house to be arranged, it's not how many children you want to have nor how rich you should become. It's making sure that you are getting married to the person who compliments you. When you got this right, then circus wouldn't be that bad.

Oh, how?! Listen to your heart (not your libido). It will not lead you astray. You'll have this certain feeling about a person that when all else fails, having her (him) is the greatest achievement you can be proud of.

Flight Back Home

2005-02-22T15:32:00.000+08:00

Job is done (at least here in Bangkok), flight is rebooked, the documents the need to brought back (the fruits of my labor! lavyah!! :D) are kept. Tomorrow, I'll set foot again in my native land, and will see once again my family.

Working in a foreign land has never been easy, no matter how many times you've been away, specially for those who already have their own family like me. And flight back home always draws excitement from the heart. It's like riding the plane for the first time.

So, cheers for the additonal mileage! I just hope the inflight movie is worth watching =)

Baby, Mommie's going home.

Looking thru a Glass of Iced Tea

2005-02-22T15:10:00.000+08:00

Life, wherever part of the world, has never been this difficult and challenging, especially for the less fortunate. And, in the course of striving hard to get through everyday’s responsibilities and trying to make ends meet, we tend to overlook life’s simple pleasures. We fail to see life’s worth beyond the need to eat, to earn money, raise a family.

We often hear stories of regret of why a person did not express his or her feelings towards another when the chance is at hand. And feel more bad losing that person afterwards, may it be to death, or to one lucky man or woman who had the guts.

How then can we avoid this type of extreme heartbreak?

Look thru a glass of iced tea. Make sure the glass is clear, maybe with some cubed ice in it. Then slowly pour in the milk. And you will see, that though the milk has to go through a bumpy way to the bottom, due to the ice, or the water’s compact molecular structure, it gets there. And with a couple of easy stir, it’s there mixed with the tea, creating a wonderfully tasting drink that soothes even the most uptight nerves.

You see, what makes life worth living is life being hard. In so being, we have to have a realistic goal, and we have to have definitive tasks as to how we can achieve that. And no matter how hard each step of the way is going to be, we have to have faith. It is possible that people of same age, or same field, or same society status may hit the target earlier but faith should not be lost. Not everyone is given the same breakaways, the same hardships, the same fortunes or the same weight of responsibility. What matters most is that we’re all given the chance. And we just have to take the chance and do the most that we can. And along the way, we’ll meet people that may pave the easier way, or simply help us carry the load. And we should appreciate them and take the hand.

Surely, it is easier said than done. But still, it can be done. Stick with the “can”. And if headaches start to creep in, or faith starts to loosen, get a glass of iced tea.

Nasan na ko?

2005-01-04T19:55:00.000+08:00

Bumalik sa ala-ala ko yung gabing nakasakay kami sa kotse ni Dada Al pauwi mula sa isang EB kasama ang mga kaibigan namin sa RX-Talk. Maisingit ko lang muna na ang RX-Talk ay mailing list ng isa sa pinakasikat na FM radio station, RX93.1. Sa grupong ito nabuo ang pagkakaibigan sa pagitan ng mga bata at matatanda, ages range from 14-30+. Pwede kayong magtaka kung panong nagpapanagpo ang pag-iisip namin gayong me generation gap. Pero wala akong masasabing malinaw na sagot maliban marahil sa hindi kami nagkakasama para lamng gumastos ng pera at lunurin ang mga sarili namin sa beer. Nagkakasama kasi dahil gusto naming makilala ang bawat isa ng lubusan - mula pabango hanggang paboritong artista, mula kantiyawan hanggang sa bolhan.

Balik lang ako sa gusto ko talagang ikuwento. Nung gabing yun, tinanong ako ni Dada "So Janie, seryoso ka na talaga ke Mike ha?" (ngayong naalala ko to parang ang dating sa akin ng tanong eh player ako ah! Hmmmm ... Nah, nde intensyon ni Dada Al un.) Nweis, tumango ako kasabay ng isang magandang ngiti. Umayuda pa si Dada Al, "Matutupad pala un sinabi mong mag-aasawa ka pag 25 ka na." kasunod nun ay ang mahaba-haba pang kwentuhan kasi sumabat na yung ibang nasa kotse. Si Yabz at Deo ata yun.

Ngayon naisip ko, nasan na ko? Natuloy ang pagpapakasal ko sa edad na 25 (isang kasal na naging ugat ng isang istoryang kikita ng malaki sa Maala-ala Mo Kaya .. ehehehe). May isang anak na napakaganda (isa pa lang. family planning) at isang asawa na wala na atang hihigit pa. Ano pa? Isang libo't isang laksang mga pangyayari na sumubok at patuloy na sumusubok sa katatagan ng aming pagsasama (sabi ko sa inyo eh, pang MMK buhay ko. Baka pwedeng maging Mano Po 4: My Wedding ... ehehehe).

Lagi kong sinasabi na kahit gaano pa ko maging successful sa aking career, ang kabuuan ng tagumpay ko ay ang pagiging ina at maybahay. Iyon ako, iyon ang gusto kong maging.

Saan ngayon papunta ang sinusulat ko na to? Hindi ko rin alam. Ito lang marahil ang sinulat kong hindi ko alam kung bakit ko sinusulat(o tina-type). Pwedeng nalulungkot lang ako dahil malayo ako ngayon sa pamilya ko. Maaring gusto ko lang mang-inggit .. ehehehe. Hindi ko alam talaga. Sa susunod na lang.

*note: originally posted at Xanga, dated Sunday, October 31, 2004

Notting Hill - Revisited

2005-01-04T19:54:00.001+08:00

I confess, I have watched Notting Hill a zillion times already and I am far from having too much of it.

Can't blame me, Julia Roberts is undeniably a sweetheart. She's beautiful, an a-1 actress, and simply adorable. Her eyes could just melt you in an emotional scene. And her smile could, you know, launch a thousand ships! And Hugh Grant - he's ... well, huge! I mean, let alone for his British accent, I can just drool till this room get flooded (not at the moment, thanks!).

But what makes the movie a classic other than having these two brilliant actors on the helm?

The lines.

Don't you just felt a hard thud in your heart when Anna (Roberts) said "I am also a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."

How about when she, out of confusion and disarray, uttered "I will regret this forever!", followed by the sulking look in William's (Grant) face and the shock on Anna's.

Oh! one more. William said to Anna "This is a very strange reality to be faced with.". Reality really has the ability to knock you off your feet and into the dust. Awww! Such pain!

The symbolism and representations.

In the movies, how would you tell the viewers that a months has passed since an event took place? We often see on screen something like "2 months later.." Or maybe we will see the character be in a lot of situation in a fast pace. But in this movie, William simply walked along a street in Notting Hill as the season changed from summer to fall. And along the way, you would also see what has taken place for some people. Neat isn't it?

How about the painting? It becomes a significant symbol of the love between Anna and William.

And who could forget the brownies? *smirk*

*note: originally posted at Xanga by the same author, dated Friday, Oct. 22, 2004

Breathing Bamboo

2005-01-04T19:53:00.001+08:00

Pinoy music industry will be entirely different had it not gave birth to one of the finest, ultra-hip, performance-extraordinaire vocalist named Bamboo.

First known to be Rivermaya's frontman, he now leads a new, head-banging, ladies-swooning, undeniable fab band known, how else - Bamboo. With equally talented musicians like Nathan Azarcon, Ira Cruz and Vic Mercado to complete the band, they are definitely destined to conquer the airwaves and declare the stage as theirs and theirs alone.

But be warned that this post will mostly be about just Bamboo and not the entire band. I can't help myself, sorry for those who will be offended. I just ... have to ... get this extreme admiration about the man. With all due respect and love for the rest of the band, allow me to complete this piece.

One cannot deny how different of an experience listening and watching Bamboo perform. He is awesome! It's hard to contain the audience from screaming until their lungs beg them to pause for a while, or sing like they are being warped in the stage along with him and sent to another dimension, even during RM days.

When Bamboo left Rivermaya a few years back, I was saddened. I knew RM will never be the same again. Though I continued to support RM (and I love them dearly), the silent prayer and hope of Bamboo returning remains. Alas, God gave in. Thus the birth of the band.

Sadly though, my work kept me from jumping to oneof their concerts as soon as they have hit the road. But with God's divine intervention (really, it was!), GK77 concert took place and paved the road to my first ever Bamboo concert since his semi-hiatus. And my long wait and thirst of Bamboo's enticing and mega powerful voice was over! Much like finding the fountain of youth!

And hearing him sing old familiar songs like Ulan, Kisapmata, Awit ng Kabataan, Elisi transported me to the RiverMaya days. These songs really sound different and much strong with Bamboo hitting the notes. They are so distinctive and much more captivating. He even sang Englishman in New York in a very soothing yet energizing way. And would a gig be complete without their signature first hit NoyPi? Nah! Just hearing the intro of the song broke the already broken hell loose. Too sad though he didn't sing 214. That would be a nice cherry on the top.

Ohhhh ... I can just sigh and nod my head as I whisk off the magic poured in my soul. The voice, the charm, the intrigue, the slippers, the shaved head, his every jump, his every twist, his every glance, his every sweat, his being a man we all so love. Bamboo.

*note: this post was originally created at Xanga by the same author, dated Thursday, Oct. 14, 2004

Confession of a Working Mom (originally posted at Xanga)

2005-01-04T19:51:00.001+08:00

If I am to single out my deepest regret that I have in my life right now, that would be not being with my daughter as much as I wanted to. Work is keeping me from being there. It is sad to think that I wasn't there when her first tooth came out. My heart aches seeing my kid loosing weight while I am out of the country working. And it is bitter-sweet to hear her talk endlessly on the other side of the line. Bitter that I cannot hold her at that moment, to hug her and let her see how proud I am to be her mother. Sweet.

I am certain this is how other working moms do, as well as the dads. It's hard. Painful in fact, but this is reality. We gotta work. We gotta strive to make sure tomorrow will be better than today. I just hope my kid will continue to be the smart one that she already is .. innocent and understanding, caring, knowing the answers to her unspoken "Whys".

Mom and Dad may not be there physically, but we are for the rest. I am not trying to sound defensive because this is life. There's no room for qualms, one should act. And act fast and willed.

I may still feel bitter-sweet of this matter but I choose to enjoy the sweetness than to make the bitterness linger.

I love you Lian!